Crystal Lyons Ministries

                                                                                                                                                            By: Crystal Lyons

     The parable of the prodigal son, in my opinion, should have been called, the
prodigal sons….plural.  The older son was messed up too.  He lived with his father,
but didn’t know him.  He served his father, but didn’t take on his father’s heart. 

He served…..but I don’t know if he did it for love or out of a sense of duty.

 The younger was definitely messed up.  He was selfish and self-centered to the core,
living only for the moment.  His highest aspirations were simply to satisfy his immediate
cravings.  He cared nothing for the pain he caused his father or anyone else. 
Self gratification was all that mattered.  Until…….he ran out of money…..
friends……food……and pride.  One day while fighting with the pigs over the
pig food, something in him woke to reality.  The Bible says “He came to himself”. 
He awoke to suddenly realize that if he could simply be a servant at his father’s
house, he would be far better off than where he was at the moment.   So he left
the pig pen and headed for home, practicing the speech he was
preparing to give his dad when he faced him.

His dad had never stopped looking and longing for his son to return, and therefore he
saw him coming a long way off and before he got there, his dad had grabbed a clean
robe and headed out to meet his boy.  Not only did he cover him with something
presentable so as to cover his shame,  but he placed his own ring on his boy’s
finger…giving him full authority to what was in the father’s house.  THEN…
he planned a party….killed the fatted calf….and invited everyone over to rejoice
with him and embrace his son back into the family.

This great, extravagant grace is what exposed the elder son’s prodigal heart. 
He got MAD!!  How DARE this no account bum of a brother come home and not
have to do ONE THING to earn his place at the table!  Then when the father
comes out to try and talk the elder brother into coming inside and joining the
festivities, more of his dark heart is exposed.  He begins to say how his father had
never done any such thing for him as he did for “this son of yours”.  #1.  That
statement showed that he didn’t even claim him as a brother.  #2.  It revealed
his attitude towards his father as being someone who wouldn’t GIVE anything
to someone very deserving but would throw it away on someone who DIDN’T
deserve it!  Well, he got the last part right.  God DOES pour out His blessings
on those who don’t deserve it!.....and it makes ALL us older prodigals MAD!!

I have experienced this.  Someone close to me had hurt me deeper than I had ever
been hurt before in my life, and what made it exceedingly more painful was they
never fully took responsibility for their actions.  A few years after the injury, this
same person went on a weekend Christian retreat and got SO BLESSED, as God
so RICHLY poured His blessing over this individual.  When I saw the person after the
weekend was over and heard how God blessed, I was expecting a sincere apology
from someone who had been with God and as a result had come to realize the
depth of what they had done.  Instead, what I saw was a bubbly….bouncing off the
walls….happy person who was excited about how wonderful God was and how
wonderfully happy they were and everything was, well…..WONDERFUL! 
It INFURIATED me!!  I was so upset I couldn’t sleep and couldn’t stop crying…
so much so I was throwing up.  I didn’t know WHY I was so mad either…

and that made it worse.

Now…years later….I think I know.  I was angered because God didn’t ask anything of this person….nothing!  He just poured the blessing of His presence out on someone
TOTALLY undeserving!  He didn’t make them feel ANY pain over what

they had done!  He just LOVED them!!  That kind of lavish grace angered me because
I felt like I should have been recompensed for SOMETHING!  I had sucked it up and
taken the hit.  I had been faithful to God while this person inflicted pain and then went
about their merry way.  I wanted them to feel at least SOME of the pain

 they had inflicted on me.  If ANYONE was going to be blessed by God, it should have been ME....NOT this other person….ESPECIALLY not this other person!  God hugging this
other person was like a slap in the face to me!  He had killed the fatted calf for this
one who had wounded me so deeply…..so what am I…..chopped liver??

I know what I am….I am the older brother.  I hate the taste it leaves in my mouth, but
facts are facts….I’m the older brother.  I’m the one who didn’t leave the Father’s house
to go sleep with the pigs and was infuriated when the Father lavishly poured out His
blessing on the one who did.   I never liked the elder brother in that story…
and now I realize….I am he.  

 I want God’s goodness to make sense, and it doesn’t.  I want His economy to be based
on the same standards that mine is.  What I mean by that is, if you put 10 hours in….
you get 10 hours worth of pay.  If you put 1 hour in….you get ONE hour worth of pay. 
Not God!  No…..He doesn’t have the same standards.  He even talked about this in
His Word.  He speaks to one and agrees to pay him a day’s wage for a day’s work. 
That’s fine, but what screws it up is, He’ll pay some Joe Blow who shows up late
and only puts in 1 hour the same amount as the guy who sweated through the heat
and puts in 10!  THEN rebuke those who labored hard through the heat of the day,
and are grumbling about the pay out!  What it boils down to is…GOD IS NOT FAIR!!! 
He’s not!  He’s extravagantly good!  He rains on the just and the unjust.  He embraces
prodigals, covers their shame and throws them parties!  I LOVE this about Him
when it concerns me.  I even enjoy it when it concerns others who don’t
deserve it……but when it comes to those who have trampled MY heart…betrayed
MY trust….and then seemingly didn’t even grasp the depth of what they did….
His abundant love poured out on THEM feels like another betrayal to me. 
God forgive me….I’m the elder brother who won’t come in from the field to
fellowship with the rest of the family, because His guest

of honor is one who wounded me.

A dear friend had an experience with God that I can TOTALLY relate to.  She saw herself
in a very dark hallway and the Lord spoke to her, telling her to go to the family room. 
When she finally made her way there she found she couldn’t open the door.  She asked
the Lord why she couldn’t open it and He said, “Because you are afraid there will be
people in there that you don’t want to be there”, people who had hurt her and
were accepted into the “family room” just as she was.

 The bottom line is….I need to ditch my value system because it won’t work in God’s economy.  He’s not going to lower Himself to my standards.  I must embrace His. 
Unlike the elder brother, I don’t want to simply serve Him, but fall so in love with Him
that what pleases Him is what pleases me.  Lavishly pouring His grace and blessing
on those who don’t deserve it pleases Him!  This is not to say that He winks at sin,
He does not and never will.  He didn’t go to the pig pen to throw the party.  The prodigal
had to LEAVE the pigs and return to Father.  But the Father’s blessings

are poured out NOT on the deserving, for truly there is NO ONE who deserves,
but His blessings are for the undeserving.  And sometimes…..sometimes….who He
chooses to pour it on is someone who has trampled on YOU.  Being happy about
THAT, requires dying to self and our own value system.

It’s time I, and so many others in the body of Christ, come out of the field and
join in the festivities of God’s great and lavish grace poured out on all who
come…..even those who have wronged us.  God help me,
I don’t want to be the elder brother any longer.